Our new website is finally up. We’ve worked hard to get a beautiful new site ready and we’re proud to show it off. Thanks for reading our blog. We have lots of great blog posts in the works. Please check back or contact us now to find out how we can help you.
For the past ten days, I have been participating in a challenge created by Stella Orange(copywriting coach extraordinaire) called Shut Up and Writeathon (#suawriteathon). I wanted to use this challenge as an exercise in taming my inner critic, so that I could get out of my head and into the hearts of the women that need to hear what I have to say. I expected to just be proud of myself for finishing what I started. But I got sooo much more out of this experience. The last assignment from this challenge was to write a blog post with 5 things I learned over these 10 days. I had already been meaning to post to this blog for weeks, but I didn’t actually write anything because, among other reasons, I have been nervous that I don’t have anything original, interesting or valuable to write about. Since the Universe is conspiring in my favor, Shut Up and Writeathon showed up just in time to push me to do the damn thing so that I can show up more consistently and powerfully in my coaching business. Here are 5 lessons I learned that I hope will inspire you to take a step in the direction of the career freedom and delicious living that you dream about:
- To thrive as a creative (and particularly as an entrepreneur), you must develop discipline. Just because I’m making my living in an unconventional way doesn’t mean that I get to throw structure out the window. Stella offered a list of 18 “Shut Up & Write” disciplines that can come in handy when you doubt your ability to create anything of value. The 3 that I chose are “Routine, not mood” (get in the habit of creating SOMETHING–in my case, marketing copy–Every.Damn. Day. Whether you feel like it or not), “Set a timer” (and mark it in your calendar so that you honor it like you would a commitment to someone else) and “No beating yourself up” (pretty self-explanatory).
- Until you’re honest with yourself about why you aren’t sitting down to do what needs to be done, you won’t see results. My biggest distraction was the voice in my head telling me that I have no business coaching people because I’m not perfect and I don’t have all the answers. Up until I sat down to reflect on what was keeping me stuck, I would have sworn up and down that I wasn’t writing because I felt “tired” or “drained” from my day job. Clarity is everything. But once you get clear, you have to actually DO something!
- Imposter Syndrome, as painful as it may feel, has a purpose. The mean voice in my head telling me that I’m not trained enough or knowledgeable enough to help my clients bring about the transformation they desire is really just trying to protect me from fear and humiliation. If I can turn that fear into fuel, I’ll be reminded that my expertise comes from my life experience and ability to hold space for clients to self-reflect. Those plus my dedication to personal and professional development make me more than qualified to guide my clients from “burned out & stuck” to “free and fulfilled”.
- If I’m not willing to produce garbage, I will never get to a point where I can strike gold. When I commit to writing every single day, I give myself permission (and time) to move through the shitty draft process and eventually create something that resonates with the people it’s meant to touch.
- I have a choice in how I respond to my Inner Critic. Just because I tell myself something doesn’t mean that shit is true! “You’re not good enough” is a story that we tell ourselves because we’re too busy comparing and competing to notice all the proof we have already produced that we do have what it takes.
Creativity is a vital component of my business success, so I can’t afford not to cultivate it. No matter your medium–writing, painting, fashion design– if you have something to share with the world, it’s easy to talk yourself out of creating. You can convince yourself that it doesn’t matter, or that it isn’t necessary, or, worse yet, that no one will ever pay you for it. You worry about the vulnerability hangover that comes with laying your thoughts and feelings out for others to tear apart. I get it. You’re sensitive about your shit. But judging from the support and validation that I’ve gotten from fellow #suawriteathon participants, you’re not the only one that gets nervous about putting your shit all the way out there for the world to see. And if this dream keeps haunting you, you owe it to yourself to act on it. So, what will you do today to feed your creativity? Let me know in the comments: Which of these lessons resonated with you most? How do you plan to act on it?
I spent the last 3 weeks enjoying a restful (subtitle: LAZY) vacation from work. As you may know, I am a case manager by day. School was out of session for the first 3 weeks of August, so I had been using that time to catch up on sleep, circle back with coaching clients, and even do a bit of traveling. Last week, The Gentle Giant & I went to LA to visit close friends, and we spent this weekend in Long Island, NY for a wedding. What I did NOT do during this time, however, was establish a plan for how to connect with my tribe in a more powerful and meaningful way. And it’s about time I call myself out on it.
I told myself before the vacation started that I would dedicate time to building a marketing and promotion plan, so that I could be more intentional about connecting with my tribe. But then I got caught up in the perfectionism trap. I found myself cowering behind the what ifs–What if I don’t have anything of value to contribute? What if they don’t like what I have to say? Blah, blah, blah. And it hit me:
Girl. You can’t expect your clients to channel their inner Alpha and step into their power if you hold yourself back. When you push through your fears and self-doubts to make moves, you give other women permission to do the same.
So here is my promise to you: I will be bolder when connecting with you. I will put myself out there by posting, broadcasting, and/or sharing valuable content with you Every. Single. Day. And I ask that you hold me accountable. I have the courage to call out the people I love, so I welcome call-outs from people that love me. The easiest way to do that is to make sure you’re following me (@dreamleaplive on Facebook, Twitter, and Periscope) so you can make sure I’m sharing content each day!
Let me know in the comments: In what area of your life do you need to be more bold? And what kind of support would you need to step into your boldness?
July 3 is Disobedience Day(it’s a thing, look it up), meant to celebrate and appreciate those who have used civil disobedience to fight injustice in the world. In honor of this day, I wanted to share my favorite act of protest. It’s a single word that, once uttered, marks a commitment to honoring one’s needs and boundaries. That magical word, my love, is “No.”In a world that rewards women for taking on more than they can handle and pushes women to wear their exhaustion as a badge of honor, saying “No” accomplishes four things:
I was re-reading an old email from Sage Lavine, Women’s Business Coach (she’s a mentor of mine, we just haven’t met yet), and in that video, she shared a video with the following advice:
“Being a FREE spirit takes great discipline.”
Um..YES, LAWD!!! So much truth.
A big reason I started coaching is because I know that a LOT of women struggle with putting their needs first. As women, we are conditioned from an early age to throw ourselves on the sword in order to keep everyone else happy. As your Delicious Living Coach, I am here to give you permission to put YOU first. To help you reclaim your freedom to be you and live life on your terms. But if I’m being honest, that shit is hard. As. Hell. Mostly because it requires a willingness to get uncomfortable and make difficult decisions. Like the decision to cut certain people out of your life. Or to ask for that raise that you were hoping your boss would volunteer. Or even…dare I say it…to not take on another commitment so you can instead do something that makes YOU feel good (GASP!)
So how does one START this journey to Free Spirit Land? By deciding to be FIERCE. Here are 6 steps you can take to step into your fierce, free, and truly DELICIOUS life:
F-Free up your calendar for “Me Time” (and be fiercely protective of it!)
I-Identify your “invisible scripts”(When did you decide that your needs should come last?What limiting beliefs are you holding onto?And what stories are you telling yourself to keep your “delicious life” dreams at bay?)
E-Engage in extreme self-care (Make sure that your cup is full before you pour into anything that may drain you.)
R-Reject your rejectors and decide that your self-worth is never on the line (’cause it isn’t!)
C-Communicate with power (ask for what you want, say “No” to what you don’t want, and speak up about your feelings when you feel them)
E-Express, don’t impress. Do what makes sense to you and release the pressure to perform or meet other people’s standards.
Rinse and repeat for a life that tastes good! (And let me know which step you enjoy most!)
P.S. If you want to read the blog post that Sage shared in that email, check it out here.
P.P.S. If you want some help implementing my F.I.E.R.C.E formula in your life, click here, so we can talk about what that would look like!